How Not To Be A Supermodel

It’s the second you’ve all been ready for*: my first ever ebook, How Not To Be A Supermodel, is accessible for pre-order! Here!

An precise ebook that it is possible for you to to carry in your palms. Or, if you happen to choose my dulcet tones, hearken to together with your ears. You’ve cherished my revealing life updates, through the years, and also you’ve diligently learn by way of my farcical tales of woe (keep in mind after I nearly unintentionally penetrated myself with a shower faucet?): now it’s time to let me take you all the way in which again to 2001, after I was a mere slip of a factor, leaving my legislation diploma to turn out to be an immediately wealthy and well-known supermodel.

You may name How Not To Be A Supermodel a memoir, as a result of I wrote it about myself and my recollections and the experiences I had as a style mannequin within the noughties, however my God that makes it sound very critical. “Memoir” makes it sound as if I wrote my ebook within the 1800s. Within the drawing room, while mom did her needlepoint and Eliza practised on the pianoforte.

And let me ask you this: would a memoir, to your thoughts, embrace a narrative about unintentionally occurring a luxurious five-day vacation with a person you didn’t know? Would a memoir usually have a chapter referred to as Physique Like a Turgid Penis? Or – maintain on a second whereas I rustle by way of my notes – I’m Drunk and I’m Not Carrying Knickers? No it could not.

So sure, I wrote it about me and sure, it’s set up to now, however don’t make the error of considering that any painful soul-searching went into this ebook. Let’s not get the unsuitable finish of the stick, right here. I didn’t write it while sobbing periodically right into a starched linen kerchief, dabbing my eyes when it received to the insufferable bits: it is a rip-roaring riot of a experience by way of a decade of the unbelievable situations and surprising occasions that life as a non-supermodel threw up, and it’s chaotic and blundering and humorous and ceaselessly ridiculous.

Pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel

OK, there are poignant moments. In fact there are. In truth I used to be particularly advised, after I received the ebook deal, that I needed to embrace the bits that might create one thing of a speaking level. (As if me inadvertently turning into concerned in an impromptu intercourse present or nearly falling into shark-infested waters wasn’t sufficient of a speaking level.) And so sure, I’ve put within the troublesome bits in addition to all the elements that can doubtlessly have you ever spitting out your espresso and embarrassing your self on public transport.

However largely it is a snort-inducing, extremely correct** account of all of the methods by which I didn’t turn out to be a supermodel. My obvious bodily shortcomings, my persona defects and my spectacular means to draw chaos and catastrophe in nearly any state of affairs.

You may pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel now – the discharge date is twenty ninth August. It has already been heralded as THE ONLY BOOK YOU NEED TO READ THIS YEAR!*** and so I believe it’s a reasonably secure wager that you just’ll like it. Pre-orders actually matter, apparently, and so if you happen to solely ever click on on one hyperlink I submit then please make it this one. I’ll be perpetually in your debt.

Pre-order your copy of How Not To Be A Supermodel here

I’ll be again with extra posts in regards to the ebook and in regards to the means of writing it as a result of it has truthfully been the most effective, most satisfying factor I’ve ever completed in my grownup life. For those who’ve adopted me for some time then you definately’ll know that writing was what I had began to do on the finish of my modelling profession; running a blog was a really pleased accident that took off into one thing nice and I’ve a superb and rewarding profession in social media due to it, however I’ve been hounding a ebook deal for a really very long time****. It’s a correct “full circle” second for me.